Aug. 16, 2002

Anatomical Chart Company
Need an extra hand? Perhaps a model of a working heart would go nicely in your bedroom? Thanks to the Anatomical Chart Company you can buy models of organs and skeletons, as well as charts and posters to decorate your home. The model of the male bladder where "students can practice the insertion of a lubricated catheter into the bladder" is probably the scariest item you could purchase. My personal favorite is "a finely painted 2-part model of a three-root molar that divides in half to show 8 numbered features and a cavity." It's like a piece of modern art!

Best Photos of 2001
I don't know who put together this hilarious collection of photos, but I have to admit these are thought provoking. My favorite has to be the drunken squirrel with a ciggie hanging from his mouth. However the deer hiding from the hunter by climbing a tree is brilliant too.

The Lovely Blue Planet of There
I'll admit it. I was the worst kind of Duranie. I had the hugest crush on Duran Duran bass player John Taylor. I was 13, he was in his 20s. I lived in Kansas, he was in London. I had braces, he had frosted hair. Yup, it was a match made in heaven. For those of us girls who plastered Duran Duran posters all over our bedroom walls during the '80s, here's some quality fan fiction we can all enjoy. Don't forget to take the Duran Duran Purity Test. There are 1035 questions total. Egads.

The Lush Lingo Lexicon
"Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on." Drink more beer for a proper translation.

This site showcases funky games and weird animations that make me happy to know some kids who don't sleep are making this stuff. Try your hand at the Suicidal Super Puppy game or the Pillow Dancer. And be prepared to waste valuable time. You've been warned.

Sure jelly tastes good on toast, but have you tried soaking in it? Okay, so it's not the same kind of jelly, but it sure looks like it. Here's the convincing sales pitch from the Web site: "JellyBath is a truly unique spa experience. One box will turn your bath water into luxurious encasing comfort. Add JellyBath to warm water and it becomes a translucent, fluffy jelly which will retain its heat up to 4 times longer than water. It's a virtual bath blanket!" A warm, squishy blanket, that is.

French Phrases Worth Learning do you say in French "Your children are very attractive. Are they adopted?"
Ah yes, "Vos enfants sont trs beaux. Ils sont adoptes?"
Read more useful French phrases with phonetic pronunciation guides included. Mais oui!

Things You Never Knew Existed
When I was a kid, I loved it when this bizarre catalog showed up in our family mailbox. I would read the catalog descriptions item by item like some sort of pop culture gag researcher. I would save my allowance in vain with the dream of buying finger hooks for the kitchen cabinets or oversized X-ray goggles. I'm glad to see this catalog is continuing the tradition of selling useless novelty gifts for the next generation to appreciate. Wow, I may have to buy that Elvis wig.

Cocktails and Entertaining with Bob and Karen
Bob and Karen sure know how to host a sexy cocktail party. These two dish out bartending and entertaining tips with a big splash of sleaze. For example: "What comes first? It's simple: Sugar - ice - liquor - the mix - carbonated soda. Who comes first? That's decided after cocktails." Yuk yuk.

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