September 6, 1996

MooCow
Cows, cows and more cows! Order a bully cow calendar, look at ranches on the Web and download a field full of cow icons. Better than chewing fresh cud!

Suck: net.moguls
You don't have to throw a baseball to be featured on a card. Read "stats" and fabulous quotes from the Big Guys in media including our very own Will Hearst. A new card every Friday!

Land of the Lunchboxes
My Fonzie lunch box is cooler than your Dukes of Hazard lunch box! Relive your childhood here and you don't have to eat your carrot sticks.

Soldier of Fortune
You're just not a real American man unless you own a loaded rifle. Read news on weapon legislation and your rights to bare arms.

Home Appliance Shooting
Do you hate that old TV set? Now your dreams can come true with the help of a sawed-off shotgun, a trusty sledgehammer and a little determination.

Butt Furr
Hairy shorts are the new wave in fashion. No need to send them to the cleaners, just vacuum! Be sure to take off the shorts first.

Face Reading
I've heard of "read my lips" but what the heck is "read my face?" If you have a big, fleshy nose you have an abundance of financial and spiritual wisdom...and a big nose.