Relationships 101:
Relationship resolutions

by Bonnie Burton

The new millennium celebration came and went. Nothing blew up. No riots drove us into our homes like scared little bunnies. In fact, everything was pretty mellow. Hopefully, you were kissing your significant other smack dab on the lips when the clock struck midnight. But if your beloved was no where to be found, perhaps you should to reevaluate your situation. Now is a good time to make some New Year's relationship resolutions.

I will not be treated like a groupie.
Chant those wise words to yourself when your boyfriend treats you like an extra in his entourage. Don't expect to be No. 1 in his life all the time, but refuse to take spot No. 16 on his list of important people either. If you don't make the top 5, walk out that door. He needs to know that you want an equal kind of relationship and he should feel just as lucky to have you in his life as you feel he is in yours.

I will not spend every waking second with him.
There's a difference between spending quality time together and spending so much time around him that you know how many times his chews one French fry before he goes on to the next. Sure it's fun to hang out on a regular basis, but sometimes it's even more fun to ANTICIPATE the next time you'll be going to the movies or fixing dinner together. Plus the more time you spend apart, the more interesting things you'll have to tell him about the next time you talk to him.

I will get a life.
Get a hobby already! Seriously, don't become your boyfriend's personal cruise director. Remember what you were like when you were single and independent? Take up black velvet art painting. Write haiku poems about kippers and Spam. Learn to play the bass guitar. Just don't sit there waiting for the phone to ring.

I will not be a jealous Betty.
This is one of those self-improvement resolutions. If you're apt to jump to conclusions every time he glances up at a waitress or he puts a Jennifer Lopez poster up on his wall, then you need to figure out what the real problem is. Is it that you don't trust him, or that you feel too insecure about yourself? Think hard. If he really is a big flirt, either accept him for what he is or move on. Don't try to change him. You can only change yourself.

I will listen to my pals.
If your best friend thinks the boy you're seeing is nothing but bad news behind a great smile, take her opinion to heart. This doesn't mean however, that you must do everything your friends say. Rent the movies Valley Girl or Pretty in Pink, and you'll understand what I'm saying here. You can follow your heart, just be careful not to follow it off a cliff.

I will have fun.
Most importantly, you must say this over and over again in your head. Relationships are hard work, but they must be fun or else why bother? Your boyfriend should really be a friend you can laugh with and be yourself around. If you wear a mask, you're not going to have any fun at all. In fact, you'll be so busy acting like someone else, you won't notice any of the good stuff. So have a bunch of silly, great moments with him and know that's what it's all about!

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