Relationships 101:
How to Set Up Your Friends

by Bonnie Burton

When you find yourself in the throws of romance the last thing you want is a pal who gets squeamish when you and your boy give each other a goodbye smooch or hold hands. So what's the best way to get your friends to stop rolling their eyes every time you show any kind of public displays of affection?

Set them up! It's like that saying, "If you can't beat them, join them." If they're head-over-heels in love, the last thing they'll do is make fun of the way you call your boyfriend "honey bunny."

Here's a few ways to approach setting up a pal without getting into too much effort or trouble. Remember -- playing Cupid isn't easy, so don't expect to find Mr. Right for Ms. Picky.

Think realistic.
Don't go out and find someone you think your pal will drop her jaw over. It's not your mission to find the perfect fella for your friend. Sometimes opposites do attract. However, this doesn't mean you should go find a frog for your friend to kiss, either. Instead of starting your search for Prince Charming from scratch, listen to whom your pal talks about the most. Maybe there's a new guy at work she can't seem to chat enough about. Or perhaps it's the boy who hands her her special-blend tea at the neighborhood cafe. Just watch her eyes sparkle when she mentions someone and you'll know who the perfect candidate will be.

Be sneaky.
No one likes to be set up on a blind date without being asked first. It's a known fact. But you can invite your single friend to a group get-together and also bring along that guy you know she's been eyeing in art class. It's not like you're forcing her to go out to a dinner and a movie with a perfect stranger. It's a group gig, so she can talk to him without the pressure. Try your best to get them to chat with one another without being too obvious. Remember, subtly is key -- if you're too eager to get them in a corner, your friend will figure out your angle and your cover will be blown.

Act surprised.
When your friend says she's so glad that you invited that cute drummer from jazz band to your B-movie marathon party last weekend, don't say "I knew you two would click!" Just act surprised and don't demand a bigger thank you for finding her a new boyfriend.

Don't get too cocky.
OK, so if your pal manages to actually dig the guy you set her up with, don't turn around and act like a hero. Your friend deserves happiness just like you do, but don't expect a month-load of free movies for this favor you supposedly did out of the kindness of your heart.

Romance isn't like instant pudding.
You can't just add a cute guy and mix. That spark is there or it's not. And if it's not, then don't be disappointed. The whole point of this dating thing is to keep trying until that spark does happen.

Remember she's your friend.
This is the most important tip, so pay attention! Please don't lose site of your friendship during this whole process of secretly trying to play matchmaker. How would you feel if your best friend decided to try to pair you up with a bunch of different guys? Don't hurt anyone's feelings -- the last thing you want is to lose a friend over helping her get a boyfriend.

Return to Archive