he loves his coffin more
Goth boys are an
interesting lot to date. If you're in to reading Anne
Rice novels and wearing black clothes, you should be
able to relate to these dudes of death. But be careful
of the suicidal ones. Goth boys tend to be too
depressed for their own good, and may not appreciate
you waltzing into their lives to try to make them
happy.
- Keep lots of candles and gargoyles in the bedroom
to create that special mood only goth boys can
appreciate. Remember not to get the candles too close
to their hair since most goth boys use loads of
hairspray. Goth fellas make for extra-flammable
boyfriends.
- Take care if your personal Vlad wants to bite
you. Vampires might be immortal, but goth boys are
still human and full of bacteria.
- Start listening to bands like Sisters of Mercy,
Bauhaus and even Marilyn Manson. Goth boys and spooky
kids alike have a certain kind of music that
soothes their savage hearts. And by all means, do
not get into a debate about which bands really
fall under goth, industrial or punk genres. You'll
just make your boy testy.
- If your goth boy is going to wear eyeliner, make
sure he wears waterproof brands. Nobody likes a boy
whose mascara runs after dancing up a sweaty storm to
"Bela Lugosi's Dead."
- Try not to giggle when he talks about his plan to
search for a real vampire to turn him into one of the
Lonely Ones. Goth boys take their vamp delusions
rather seriously and may not understand why you are
laughing hysterically at their ghoulish goals.
- Be prepared to play a role playing game many a
Friday night. Masquerade is usually the
Dungeons-and-Dragons rip-off game of choice.
- Watch where you step in his bedroom. Goth kids
love to keep tarantulas and other creepy crawlies as
pets. Black cats are also a favorite. If he has Sea
Monkeys, he's a fake.
- If he's prettier wearing your black dresses than
you are - get another boyfriend. You don't want to be
the ugly one in the relationship.
- Check out his bookshelf to see what he reads.
Don't be shocked if you see The Hobbit sitting right
next to a book by Anton LaVey. He'll probably have an
extensive comic book collection as well. Ask him his
opinion on Sandman's sister Death and he'll probably
babble for hours.
- Don't fix meals with the main of ingredient of
garlic. If he really thinks he is a vampire, he may
freak out in the middle of a romantic dinner.
- Don't be upset if you go out dancing and your boy
goes into some weird performance-art dancing frenzy.
Goth boys aren't known for their dancing skills.
- Prepare to have weird hair dye smudges all over
your apartment walls, clothes, sheets, furniture,
pets, etc. Unless you're blessed with a boy who was
born with black hair, you're probably going to be
stuck with a boy who feels it neccessary to constantly
dye his hair black.
- Remember that to your boy, every day is
Halloween. So don't have a cow if he shows up for
Thanksgiving dinner at your parents' house wearing a
black velvet cape and a long skirt.
- Beware of the boy who thinks he can communicate
with ravens and crows just because he saw the move The
Crow sixty times. This type also may dress like the Crow
character (Eric Draven) until you remind him that
a
professional wrestler dresses the same way.
All contents copyright
© 1998-2006 by Bonnie Burton.
DISCLAIMER: By the way, these tips aren't meant to upset the actual punkers, stoners, musicians, ravers, goths and other types who visit Grrl.com. Sure not all musicians care more about their guitars than their girlfriends, and not all stoners eat tons of Ho-Hos, and not all goths wear black eyeliner, and not all ravers take E. But that's not the point. THIS IS IN JEST AND GOOD FUN. Learn to laugh at yourself a little. After all, not only have I dated all these stereotypes, but at different points of my life I was each of these stereotyoes myself -- except for the Redneck, that is.
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