Tues., April 29, 2003

Skills a plenty:

As I redesigned my resume for the 11th time this month, I have realized that I know a lot of random stuff that you can't simply state it all in a couple of pages in a nice, neat format. Sure I have computer skills and plenty of writing and editing experience, but what about all the other work experience I've gathered over ther years? Here's a listing of things that probably won't end up on my resume, but I'm still proud to know.

• I can speak like a three-year-old child in French, Spanish and Russian.
• I know how to play the piano, guitar and alto sax.
• I was a Barbizon model.
• I know every single plot to such TV shows as "The Simpsons," "Sex and the City," "The Facts of Life" and "Law & Order."
• My cooking would impress Elvis.
• I can recognize even the most-obscure celebrity in just about every movie and TV show I watch.
• My green thumb makes sure all of my houseplants are happy and thriving.
• I play well with others.
• My homemade biscuits have won 4-H awards.
• I have a way of making people laugh in boring situations.
• Jobs not on my resume that I think are just as cool: bagel chef, record store clerk, dishwasher, bookstore clerk, radio station lackey, raver fashion model, mobile unit DJ, puppeteer, housesitter, gardener, zine editor and assembly line worker at a book publishing house.
• I make a mean Cosmopolitan.
• I can locate any info you want online fast. (Seriously, I was once asked to find info on midget drag queens and did without hesitation!)
• I blog like a pro.
• I can name any tune within the few first bars of the song. (Singing it in key is another story.)
• If you need to find some cool collectible on eBay quickly, I'm your gal.
• I have double-jointed fingers.
• I am a trained dancer in ballet, jazz and tap. (I still have my tap shoes!)
• I know unusual facts about plants (ethnobotany) and celebrities (gossip).

Discuss

Fri., April 18, 2003

Things I've Recently Realized:

• Pulling weeds all day for four days straight is one hell of a workout.
• "American Idol" is addictive.
• I have too many houseplants.
• My dog's snoring makes me smile.
• I rush relationships.
• Change scares the crap out of me.
• I wish I could live in the bathtub.
• Wherever you are, look up at the moon and know someone you care about might be looking up as well.
• I think I might actually like Billy Joel songs. *gasp*
• I sing better when my only audience is the dog.
• When I'm stressed out, I like to look up at the swaying trees.
• Stay truly positive and something good might just happen.
• There are no such things as coincidences.
• Do not watch scary movies like The Ring alone. eeep.
• I use the mute button a lot during scary movies.
• I'll never look at the photo finishing clerk the same way again after watching Robin Williams in One Hour Photo.
• I'm really glad creepy music doesn't play right before something bad happens to me.
• I'm really glad polka music doesn't play right before something bad happens to me.
• I over-analyze every situation.
• Writing sets me free.
• Everyone has regrets they can't erase.
• Peach is my favorite ice cream flavor.
• I've never been inside a lighthouse.
• The sound of rain helps me fall asleep.
• Vivaldi makes my heart beat faster.
• I want to learn how to salsa dance and ride a horse.
• There are very few things in life you can control.
• The things you can't control are sometimes the most important.

Tues., April 8, 2003

Back from Seattle

I don't know if you're aware of this but wearing a fez hat makes you ultra creative. I'm wearing a leopard (fake) fur one now. And yes, much like that dude in the photo above, I look downright spiffy. I got one for myself and a traditonal red fez hat for my pal Steve from a great store in Ballard, WA called Archie McPhee. I was tempted to get a mini-fez hat for my dog Sophie, but figured in the end she would just gobble it up.

I have along history with going crazy in the Archie McPhee store. When I worked at the @Home Network (before it became the doomed Excite@Home), I would get a big package of goodies from them once every three months or so. Then I'd proceed to give my co-workers weird rubber toys and junk for their desks. The mail room guys loved me!

Most of my San Fran apartment was decorated with plastic frogs, inflatable skeletons, glitter stars, rubber chickens, squeaky lobsters and other weirdness all from McPhee. Now that I'll be moving to a new bachelorette pad soon, I'm sure I'll be looking toward Archie McPhee for design ideas...once I get a job and can afford all the Elvis nodders I want.

Speaking of that, I've been applying for jobs like mad. Just from the mere output of resume sending I've been doing, SOMEONE is bound to bite, right? Keep your fingers crossed. But I am optomistic and ready to rule the world, while wearing my fez hat of course.

Discuss

April 2-7, 2003

MOVIE FEST!!!

The following is a list of all the movies I watched while at Scott's pad in Seattle. Let me know what you think of these movies too! I can't believe we watched so many flicks! But at least I now know my true calling in life: to stalk John Waters.

• Happy Times (Xingfu shiguang) directed by Yimou Zhang
  Chinese guy just wants to get married but ends up taking care of a blind girl instead.

• Hero (Ying xiong) directed by Yimou Zhang
  If you liked Crouching Tiger, you might dig this beautifully done Jet Li kung fu action film. Plus you get to see Ziyi Zhang kick more butt.

• The Road Home (Wo de fu qin mu qin) directed by Yimou Zhang
  A young Ziyi Zhang plays a lovesick girl during the '50s in the rural Chinese countryside. Charming and sad at the same time. Makes me want to wear a red jacket and colorful ribbons in my hair.

• 200 Cigarettes directed by Risa Bramon Garcia
  It's New Year's Eve in NYC in 1981 and everyone is trying to get to a party and hopefully have the best time of their lives. What a soundtrack! What a cast! Kate Hudson as a klutz. Ben Affleck as a dorky bartender everyone wants to sleep with. Courtney Love as pretty much herself. David Chappelle as a cabbie full of advice and smiles. Casey Affleck as the cutest punk rocker I've seen in a long time. Gaby Hoffmann and Christina Ricci play underaged Jersey girls looking for their cousin's party. Martha Plimpton as the nervous party hostess. Fellow Kansan Paul Rudd plays a newly-dumped boyfriend who can't seem to have any fun (even with Courtney trying to get down his pants!) Janeane Garofalo as an angry performance artist (there should have been WAY more of her in this movie) who ends up sleeping with Elvis Costello. It's a great movie merely for the cast and the music -- and the set design. I love movies that take place in NYC during the '80s (yeah I'm a big fan of the flick Slaves of New York).

• Pootie Tang directed by Louis C.K.
  If you dig I'm Gonna Get You Sucka you'll love this movie. It's got Chris Rock AND Wanda Sykes. You'll laugh mostly at Wanda - this woman is brilliant. Nuff said.

• Better Off Dead directed by Savage Steve Holland
  Best break-up movie ever! If you just got dumped this flick will give you hope that there's a cute French girl out there for you SOMEWHERE. Even nerdy Ricky Smith finds love at the end! One of my all-time favorite movies.

• Spirited Away (Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi) directed by Hayao Miyazaki
  This award-winning animated movie is so stunning that at times you think it's real. I love the storyline of a girl who must save her parents, who are turned into pigs, by working in a ghost world bath house. Disney is distributing this flick so it's only a matter of time before we see Pig Parent Happy Meal toys. Eeew.

• Polyester directed by John Waters
  Any movie that utilizes your sense of smell with the aid of a scratch-n-sniff card is aces in my book. Probably one of the funniest John Water movies around. Divine plays an unlucky housewife married to a porno store owner and has two ungrateful brats. But no worries, Tab Hunter will promtly sweep her off her feet. One of my favorite Edith Massey roles has her playing a newly-rich eccentric with a German limo driver. I watched it this time for the commentary tracks by Waters.

• Hairspray directed by John Waters
  I feel like dancing! Ricki Lake and Divine at their best! Plus cameos by the likes of Ruth Brown, Debbie Harry, Sonny Bono, Ric Ocasek and Pia Zadora! This time I decided to watch it for the commentary tracks -- the side references Waters says will make you giggle.

• Serial Mom directed by John Waters
  Quite possibly the best Kathleen Turner movie ever made. If you haven't seen this, rent it and be sure to listen to the commentary track so you get the backstory from Waters himself.

• Pecker directed by John Waters
  Actually, I love this newer Waters film because I think it shows the best of Baltimore eccentrics. In fact, after watching it i almost wanted to move there. Again do yourself a favor and listen to the commentary tracks by Waters. He always has interesting/hilarious side bits about why he put certain elements in the film.

• Cecil B. Demented directed by John Waters
  I have a feeling this movie was heavily inspired by Waters' and the early days with his Dreamland crew. The movie itself has the tag line: "A lunatic indie-film director and his renegade group of teenage film makers kidnap an A-list hollywood actress and force her to star in their underground film." Melanie Griffith and Stephen Dorff are great in this movie, but my favorite breakout star has to be the cutesy Satanist girl played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. Listen to Waters' commentary tracks for the funny inside story.

• Divine Trash directed by Steve Yeager
  This is the best documentary I've ever seen featuring John Waters and Divine. Heck, it's John when he's 25 and has long hair! It's a lot of old footage of him being interviewed about the movie Pink Flamingos. Plus there's interviews with the rest of the Dreamlanders Mary Vivian Pearce, Susan Lowe, Mink Stole, Edith Massey, among others. The film also features interviews with Waters' parents, his brother, Divine's mom, other directors, film critics, a film curator, psychologists and Maryland's last censor who hated all his films. Every Waters' fan should own this DVD. I loved it!

• Love Letter to Edie directed by Robert Maier
  Here's a low-fi documentary about the Dreamlander actress Edith Massey in which she talks about her life and her career in film. This lady has done it all: actress, madame at a brothel, dancer, singer, thrift store owner - what a lady!

• Talk To Her directed by Pedro Almodovar
  A moving, yet slightly disturbing, love story about a dimwitted stalker and the coma victim he's in love with, plus another romance between a tormented travel writer and a female matador. The scene not to be missed is the gigantic vagina puppet prop in a silent film within the film. (I'm not kidding).

• Phone Booth directed by Joel Schumacher
  Crap, crap and more crap. I was getting flashbacks to the caller's voice on Scream. Ugh. If you watch this film, cleanse yourself by watching Cecil B. Demented directly afterwards.

Discuss

Tues., April 1, 2003

Hey, I'm still a kid!

Do you like the photo of me? Here I'm 4, grinning with that crooked smile of mine and living with some pigs and chickens on a farm in Kansas! I still chuckle at all the trouble I used to get into.

I suppose I was fondly remembering about being a kid after I recently applied for children's editor/producer gig at a cool place called The Curiosity Group. I think they'd be a perfect match mainly because my skills of writing for kids ages 8-12 is right on the money. If you recall I was the Just Kids channel editor at Excite@Home for five years, plus I write for the tween audience for places like Teenwire.com, MissClick.com and others.

Along with my resume, I sent them a brief intro in the cover letter about some snarky things I did as a wee lass to prove I remember the mindset of the 8-12 age group. For example, I once convinced my little brother (or was it a trusting neighbor kid?) to eat Meow Mix so he could communicate with the family cat. And I recall the time I was taking tap/jazz/baton lessons because I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer, and ended up lighting the baton on fire and the big oak tree in front of the house as well!

I'm not the only one with interesting kid tales to share. I've been corresponding with the legendary actress Mary Vivian Pearce and she told me about the first time she met director John Waters when they were kids living near Baltimore. Here's what she wrote:

"John Waters lived about two miles from Riderwood in Lutherville. Our fathers had gone to college together and our parents were friends. I first met John at a family gathering. My first memory of John was seeing him spinning around on the wheel of a turned over tricycle pretending to be Captain Hook. He wore a cape and had a coat hanger up his sleeve. He delivered his Captain Hook lines in fluent Pig Latin. I also remember his puppet shows that he gave at kids' birthday parties."

Wow. Can you even imagine what a young John Waters' puppet show would have been like? I have a feeling he convinced neighborhood kids to eat cat food as well.

Discuss